Words cannot describe the wave of emotion that flows through every inch of your body as you drive into the cemetery where your children are buried, I couldn't help but think that from now on when we want to spend time with our children this is where we have to go...as I sat on the cold earth and clutched Scott's leg we both just sobbed and sobbed. As the tears streamed down our faces we took turns talking to our children and sharing what was our first Easter with our new family.
I couldn't help but think how much it sucked that most people got to spend Easter with their families today and to an extent even we did but at the end of the day our family wasn't all together, we wont ever be, there will always be 3 missing. It was very important to us that we stop by and talk to our kids today. It will always be important to me that they aren't alone on the holidays, god knows we would give anything to have them with us.
I guess up unto this point I haven't thought about how hard the holidays were going to be this first year and really for the rest of our lives. Holiday's bring about soo many different emotions as you go through the motions of the day, eating, drinking and laughing, I am numb and all that keeps repeating over and over in my head is "this isn't how it is supposed to be" and "I want our beans here".
Happy Easter babies, Mommy and Daddy love you so much and miss you with all of our being.
Love
Mommy
1 comment:
I am so sorry for your three beautiful loses. I'm fourteen and my mother passed away just before my fourteenth birthday and just three days after my younger sisters twelfth birthday. I'm not sure how your precious children passed or how long ago they passed, but things get easier. God is watching over you and your husband. There is this really great book called "Heaven is for Real." I haven't read it yet but it is sitting on my desk and I plan to. Here is a video that tells about it: http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=9EM1ECNU
You are in my prays <3
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